I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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