I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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