is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
