Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
