i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i think i just lost a toe
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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