i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
