You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
