i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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