he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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