Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We need to get me chipped asap
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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