it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
