Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
