would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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