He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
