I seem to have left my pride at pride
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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