Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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