you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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