Got a toothbrush?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
