How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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