i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
