I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize