i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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