I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
