You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
