he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Randomize
