I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
