we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize