What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
