I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
