Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize