Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
