How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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