Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Success! We fucked roommates!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
