hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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