I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
