Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
