question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
