i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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