all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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