i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
