Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I think about you every night.

(1-281): View more from Texas

I'm sorry.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

explains the nose bleeds.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.

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(801): View more from Utah

He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home

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(647): View more from Ontario

I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part

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