I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Farmville is her only friend.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
