Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
MIDGETS
????
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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