it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you inspire me to be a worse person
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
