I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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