They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
When are your genitals available?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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