You work out of a Hotel?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
