I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
