This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize