Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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