well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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