Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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