i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
