I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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