i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
