And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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