Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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