Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
