Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
