where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
