do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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