So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
