does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
