I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
